Caught Up

Believe it or not, it was my first time in Enchanted Kingdom. I have this deep fright in all the rides and stuff in amusement parks rooting from an experience in Star City back when I was a kid that's why it took me this long to finally step inside that kind of place. I was about 7 or 8 then when my uncle, cousins and I went to Star City. Even as a kid, I lack the extreme adventure inclination. When my cousins pushed me and tried the Wild River with them, I was shocked to see that there was no seat-belt or anything that would keep us from our seats. I can't back out then so I rode the log up the rails. The feeling of gravity pulling me, as I try to keep an almost lying position, the moment the log from the highest peak of that ride splashed down almost made me jump. Luckily I didn't. After that, I promised myself not to return on any amusement parks. You might find it shallow but really, the charisma of amusement parks never worked on me.

So, there. My promise to myself was broken. That's the history why I declined all of my friends who invited me over the years to join them in either Star City or Enchanted Kingdom. But last 18th of April, my friends in our nationwide organization invited me and really wouldn't take no for an answer. Until before I get in the car, I'm having second thoughts.

Arrived in Enchanted Kingdom mid-afternoon, we first took the Rio Grande. It wasn't frightening at all. The only thing is, we're SOAKING WET! Then, we tried the Flying Fiesta and joked around that it would dry up our clothes. I was enjoying, surprisingly. Then we went to where the Log Jump is located. This is the same ride I dreaded in Star City. I was really nervous. But then, I made it after some awkward, shy shouts. Then, we rode on to the Anchor's Away which made me scream on top of my lungs. That kind of feeling like your stomach's in your throat and the urge of vomiting really sucked! It was just an urge. Thank God I didn't puke. But before riding, I was in soliloquy. I thought that my life, somehow, is always on a safe track. I thought that I am always on guard with the activities I do. So why not try something extreme and risky? Just a step from riding the big boat, I said to myself, "What the hell?". And so I screamed. I let it all out. I felt good but awkward after the dizzying ride. We took a break for a while since the last ride took almost all our energies. We, then, tried some softcore features of the Enchanted Kingdom with Dodgem and the Ferris Wheel. I deeply appreciated the latter because the lights flickered when we were, I guess 100 feet up the ground. I bailed on the main event of the night, though - SPACE SHUTTLE! I know I can't take that one.

I can say that I've enjoyed my off-guard experience at Enchanted Kingdom, of course, with big credits to the people I was with, Kuya AC, Ate Lucille, Pat and John. Though I don't promise I will come back, at least the memory it left me is something to be cherished.

Pride's Talking

'Why?'

'I just missed you.'

'Uh-huh.'

'Yknow, it's seems like I broke up with my boyfriend.'

'....'

'Whatever happened between us is so childish.'

'I know. That's why I just let it go.'

'You're happy now, aren't you?'

'Yes, I am. You?'

'At last, you asked.'

'...'

She approached me. I may really be so stone-hearted but, I can't let her in again. I can't be a friend anymore now that I'm settled with my new lot. If only she talked to me earlier, we might have revived our friendship. I'm fed up with people telling me I should be the one to make a move coz, in the first place, I wasn't the one who started all of this, I wasn't the one who left. This might be the pride talking but what the hell. Everything I loved about her are the same things I can't stand today. I tried to be civil and all but I just can't pretend that everything's okay. Bitter much, can't help it.

Twist

Just a week back to school, a big change has already happened. Life, really, sometimes can be so unpredictable. In my case, those whom I never thought to be my company is now my lot and the one whom I thought to be my somebody is gone.

Vague, it is. What happened before and just after the unfolding of a new decade is really a big question mark for me. WHAT HAPPENED? Maybe it's my fault. Or maybe not.

Right now, I'm not missing anybody. Maybe distance is good. I mind my own business and you do yours. No hard feelings. Never did I realize that this would happen. But I've no regrets. No blame is pointed to anyone.

I'd rather say I'm not sad. I know things are awkward now and I chose to ignore them. You might think it's cowardly for me to not pay much attention. You surely would think I'm overwhelmed with pride to be this stone-hearted. I don't care.

I was too blind to see past against what you said about the world. I was too insensitive to feel what's outside your universe. I was too deaf to hear the pleasant music that is waiting to be heard.

Now, I can see brighter, I can feel better and I can hear louder.

Tick.Tock.

In the corner.

Alone with unfinished drink. Rammed with ideas. Tick tock. Occupied.

Involuntarily looked over the counter. You were there. Wasn't planning on looking at you. Coincidence. Stare. It was, for sure. 4 seconds. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. No blinking. Weird. Totally weird. Locked eyes broke. Looked at the cars passing by outside, instead. Freakin' uneasy, it was. Looked back over the counter. WTF. You're still there. Stare. It's like you know me. But I don't know you.

Distracted. You hit the door. Glanced. Tick-tock.

Gone.

Shunning

I'm usually up during the night and subsequently be snoring by daylight. I get to catch up with the book I haven't finished yet, with the TV series I am so behind from. I even get the chance to start new shows to watch. And now, I can't stop.

I'm stuck at home. I barely touch my phone. Almost 24/7 online, I still got nothing much to do. I may be missing school during these days - the classroom, the wild laughs everywhere, the coffee breaks, the professors, the subjects which are dragging me to hell. I miss my friends. Holidays don't excite me, ever since.

I know the drill by now. I should. I'm hating this today but I know that by the time I get back to the real game, I'll be wanting for these days to come, for summer vacation to arrive. Crazy, just plain crazy.

I haven't gone out for like a week now. I didn't even get out during Christmas day. I miss coffee and the shop. I miss my life outside the walls of our house, if one can call it that. But, this is good. Staying indoors and enjoying long hours of the night with no worries. Keeping away from being so occupied helps. It's like my own way of recharging my whole system. So by the time I step into the outside world again, I'll be equipped with full battery.

Lone Chair

I've been passive for a whole month in updating this site. Second year in college is being too time demanding. It's really hard to buy some time alone and take a look inside me. Tonight, I suddenly felt the pang of emptiness. I honestly do not know why. Seriously, I really don't remember the last time I felt this kind of feeling. I have been very overwhelmed with what has happened since the last time I did write.

I am happy, yes. With my lot, I can ask no more. Yet, there are moments, like this one, when I feel so alone. Moments when I long for people whom I wish were with me. Moments when I am a nobody.

During this kind of situation, I feel like breaking down. But I just can't. I know there's something out there enough for me to hold on. I'm sad with no particular reason. I'm feeling empty though I have never been filled up. Weird, isn't it?

Just Like a Coin

An investment has been banked yesterday. A venture on which each of us gave our share. Another experience has been deposited in an account where no one can ever get a cash-out.

Friday. Classes ended before 3pm. Ate late lunch at a fast food chain nearby. Went back to UST and waited for the sun to set. Sat in a bench behind the main building, conversations started, talking about anything we have thought and seen. We, then, transferred to a much more comfortable place (behind the fountain) with real chairs and a table. The sun has finally set. An indication of finally calling it a day. But, I was wrong. The splashing sound of the fountain, the cool wind caressing our warm bodies and the wide variations of street food seem to glue our asses on our seats. From making an eruption of laughter because of very cheesy and hilarious jokes and stories up to the most painful and sad story we have shared, this is, indeed, a night of extremes. Having heard polarized stories in the same night, the friendship we have built of just over a year has reached the next level.

In a circle of friends, it is not always happy. It is not always about the ecstatic happenings in our lives. Just like a coin with two sides, life with friends also include the problems, pressures, depressions we can't help but encounter. Oftenly, it is when one is in his most depressed state will he know who his real friends are. Last night bonding with friends made me realize that they are really the ones to keep. Life is unpredictable. It has its own twists. After enjoying the upside with the heads in tossing the coin, now it's time to chase the tails.