Under the Weather

It isn't always a sunny day. The clouds can get too heavy, too. It will cover up the blue sky and eventually, it will pour out rain. You may get caught off guard, but remember that there are people willing to share a space under their umbrella with you.

Thunders may roar, lightnings may strike, still in after every rain, there is a rainbow emerging from the clearing gloomy sky.

Endure, we must, with all the challenges we encounter on a daily basis in this very complicated existence of ours. Patient, we should be, so we can witness the unfolding of a brighter day.

Sure Looks Good to Me

Life is a constant struggle to become better. But in the course, we are met by a lot of obstacles. There are times when we feel like giving up so we weep for every little hurt to melt. Seldom we are really enlightened by the reason why such sad experiences happen. Or is it just because we are blindfolded by the emotion rushing and eating our whole sanity?

You see, there are people who evidently are weak. People who resort into killing their own lives, people who shun from the help of the Higher Being or of the people surrounding them. I, myself, am not that strong but, in all the wrongs (so I think) that has happened in my life, I always believe that there are reasons behind them. I know I am not just speaking for myself here when I say that sometimes we gotta look at the bigger picture to answer our endless why's. Or it can be the other way around.

For the past few weeks, I have been listening to this Alicia Keys song SURE LOOKS GOOD TO ME. This last cut from her As I Am album talks about the positive perception towards the bad things that occur in one's life no matter how painful and inescapable it may get. The inserted video in this post inspired me to write this. Since I heard this song, it has become my own external source of strength as its words are full of encouraging thoughts. This basically speaks about "to never be afraid to fall", as what A. Keys said in the clip. It is inevitable in one's life to experience his lowest moments, but isn't it that these pages in our lives are the same as what make us stronger and better?

The key solution to overcoming depressing lows in our lives is simply to untie the blindfold and face, deal and learn from it. Face it with your head held high. Deal with it with broad understanding. Learn from it so by the time you come across it again, you know what to do. And, I think it's better if you have your own 'somebody' who's there with you no matter what. May it be your family, friends, special someones. Just make sure that there is always someone who looks after you. We will only be accepting the freedom to fall if we are assured that there is someone who is there to catch us.

Caught Up

Believe it or not, it was my first time in Enchanted Kingdom. I have this deep fright in all the rides and stuff in amusement parks rooting from an experience in Star City back when I was a kid that's why it took me this long to finally step inside that kind of place. I was about 7 or 8 then when my uncle, cousins and I went to Star City. Even as a kid, I lack the extreme adventure inclination. When my cousins pushed me and tried the Wild River with them, I was shocked to see that there was no seat-belt or anything that would keep us from our seats. I can't back out then so I rode the log up the rails. The feeling of gravity pulling me, as I try to keep an almost lying position, the moment the log from the highest peak of that ride splashed down almost made me jump. Luckily I didn't. After that, I promised myself not to return on any amusement parks. You might find it shallow but really, the charisma of amusement parks never worked on me.

So, there. My promise to myself was broken. That's the history why I declined all of my friends who invited me over the years to join them in either Star City or Enchanted Kingdom. But last 18th of April, my friends in our nationwide organization invited me and really wouldn't take no for an answer. Until before I get in the car, I'm having second thoughts.

Arrived in Enchanted Kingdom mid-afternoon, we first took the Rio Grande. It wasn't frightening at all. The only thing is, we're SOAKING WET! Then, we tried the Flying Fiesta and joked around that it would dry up our clothes. I was enjoying, surprisingly. Then we went to where the Log Jump is located. This is the same ride I dreaded in Star City. I was really nervous. But then, I made it after some awkward, shy shouts. Then, we rode on to the Anchor's Away which made me scream on top of my lungs. That kind of feeling like your stomach's in your throat and the urge of vomiting really sucked! It was just an urge. Thank God I didn't puke. But before riding, I was in soliloquy. I thought that my life, somehow, is always on a safe track. I thought that I am always on guard with the activities I do. So why not try something extreme and risky? Just a step from riding the big boat, I said to myself, "What the hell?". And so I screamed. I let it all out. I felt good but awkward after the dizzying ride. We took a break for a while since the last ride took almost all our energies. We, then, tried some softcore features of the Enchanted Kingdom with Dodgem and the Ferris Wheel. I deeply appreciated the latter because the lights flickered when we were, I guess 100 feet up the ground. I bailed on the main event of the night, though - SPACE SHUTTLE! I know I can't take that one.

I can say that I've enjoyed my off-guard experience at Enchanted Kingdom, of course, with big credits to the people I was with, Kuya AC, Ate Lucille, Pat and John. Though I don't promise I will come back, at least the memory it left me is something to be cherished.

Pride's Talking

'Why?'

'I just missed you.'

'Uh-huh.'

'Yknow, it's seems like I broke up with my boyfriend.'

'....'

'Whatever happened between us is so childish.'

'I know. That's why I just let it go.'

'You're happy now, aren't you?'

'Yes, I am. You?'

'At last, you asked.'

'...'

She approached me. I may really be so stone-hearted but, I can't let her in again. I can't be a friend anymore now that I'm settled with my new lot. If only she talked to me earlier, we might have revived our friendship. I'm fed up with people telling me I should be the one to make a move coz, in the first place, I wasn't the one who started all of this, I wasn't the one who left. This might be the pride talking but what the hell. Everything I loved about her are the same things I can't stand today. I tried to be civil and all but I just can't pretend that everything's okay. Bitter much, can't help it.

Twist

Just a week back to school, a big change has already happened. Life, really, sometimes can be so unpredictable. In my case, those whom I never thought to be my company is now my lot and the one whom I thought to be my somebody is gone.

Vague, it is. What happened before and just after the unfolding of a new decade is really a big question mark for me. WHAT HAPPENED? Maybe it's my fault. Or maybe not.

Right now, I'm not missing anybody. Maybe distance is good. I mind my own business and you do yours. No hard feelings. Never did I realize that this would happen. But I've no regrets. No blame is pointed to anyone.

I'd rather say I'm not sad. I know things are awkward now and I chose to ignore them. You might think it's cowardly for me to not pay much attention. You surely would think I'm overwhelmed with pride to be this stone-hearted. I don't care.

I was too blind to see past against what you said about the world. I was too insensitive to feel what's outside your universe. I was too deaf to hear the pleasant music that is waiting to be heard.

Now, I can see brighter, I can feel better and I can hear louder.

Tick.Tock.

In the corner.

Alone with unfinished drink. Rammed with ideas. Tick tock. Occupied.

Involuntarily looked over the counter. You were there. Wasn't planning on looking at you. Coincidence. Stare. It was, for sure. 4 seconds. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. No blinking. Weird. Totally weird. Locked eyes broke. Looked at the cars passing by outside, instead. Freakin' uneasy, it was. Looked back over the counter. WTF. You're still there. Stare. It's like you know me. But I don't know you.

Distracted. You hit the door. Glanced. Tick-tock.

Gone.

Shunning

I'm usually up during the night and subsequently be snoring by daylight. I get to catch up with the book I haven't finished yet, with the TV series I am so behind from. I even get the chance to start new shows to watch. And now, I can't stop.

I'm stuck at home. I barely touch my phone. Almost 24/7 online, I still got nothing much to do. I may be missing school during these days - the classroom, the wild laughs everywhere, the coffee breaks, the professors, the subjects which are dragging me to hell. I miss my friends. Holidays don't excite me, ever since.

I know the drill by now. I should. I'm hating this today but I know that by the time I get back to the real game, I'll be wanting for these days to come, for summer vacation to arrive. Crazy, just plain crazy.

I haven't gone out for like a week now. I didn't even get out during Christmas day. I miss coffee and the shop. I miss my life outside the walls of our house, if one can call it that. But, this is good. Staying indoors and enjoying long hours of the night with no worries. Keeping away from being so occupied helps. It's like my own way of recharging my whole system. So by the time I step into the outside world again, I'll be equipped with full battery.